March 6, 2013

3.1 //I don't like to wait

//Confession: I don’t like to wait.

Waiting in lines. Waiting in traffic. Waiting for the elevator. Waiting at the doctors.… arms crossed, toe tapping. I am impatient and anxious. What is it about my heart that can’t sit still long enough to take a deep breath and chill? What a difference I could make in my attitude if I took those moments as a chance to reflect or pray or just be quiet. Instead I get frustrated, annoyed, and feel the rush to get to the next thing. In times where my life seems to be in limbo or when life decisions “need” to be made, waiting just seems impossible; decisions are rash.

It’s that way with waiting on God too, I am bad at waiting. His timing is always perfect. I can say that because so many times He has come through with a check to pay a bill, a phone call to answer my prayer, a job I needed so desperately, a breakup that turned out to be a blessing. He is the timing expert. We have understood time from the moment earth was created--the sun has risen and set without missing a beat and seasons have changed with consistency. King Solomon wrote about it in Ecclesiastes, and the Byrds even made a song about it:

“To everything, turn, turn, turn 
There is a season, turn, turn, turn 
And a time for every purpose under heaven...”

Yet, in my discontentment, the clock never seems to tick when it’s supposed to. Waiting causes me to believe that progress has stopped. The reality however is that waiting is in fact active. I find my heart wrestling the most when I think about the future. I get caught up in the things I want to happen, or  I perceive a problem; my heart starts to tap its toe. I want to make things happen, I want to fix it. In the Bible over and over there is direction to “wait on the Lord,” which when translated from the Hebrew and Greek means things like: to look patiently, expect eagerly, to rest, trust, or hope.

The ability to wait on the Lord is rooted in the ability to be confident and focused ON who God is and IN what God is doing. It is assurance in God’s person: confidence in His knowledge, love, and timing. It means trusting in God’s purpose and the power of His hand in my life. Waiting means anticipation, confident hope  that something will take place. It’s a belief in the goodness of God coming to fruition in my life. It’s a patient, hopeful, prayerful heart that finds purpose in a time of wait.

My “doing” doesn’t do any good //

1 comment:

Courtney said...

Waiting is so, so tough. I thought when our adoption wait was over that we would be home free. But we are waiting on new things. I think God intends for this life to be that way. It does something in our character and forces us to trust in who He is. Thanks for the reminder.