January 6, 2013

1.1 //I am a wanderer

// Confession: I am a wanderer.

My mind, my passions, my ideas, tend to be all over the place. In conversation, I have been known to jump from the current topic to another subject then back to the topic without so much as a pause. More than anything, I think 'distractedness' has become a way of life in our culture. We have attention spans that last micro seconds. We scroll through hundreds of tweets, pictures, Facebook posts, and webpages daily.  It’s no wonder we have trouble focusing on anything.

My mind often feels crowded as it is with my own thoughts. When I start thinking, reading, and digesting others; hello overload. My 'distracted agenda' calls me to play games, watch tv, and continue the various text message conversations I’m having. My day is filled with diversions that keep my focus elsewhere.

I wonder if all of the time I spend doing other things hurts God’sfeelings? Is it possible that God cringes every time we download a new app knowing it’s one less minute, hour, or even day He will hear from us?

Wanderlust is this term that refers to a strong yearning to travel. It is to lust after exploration, so to speak. Not a bad thing, unless I use the term in reference to my own heart. I am prone to wander. My tendency  is to do everything else but give God my full attention. I’ll explore Pinterest for hours but can’t seem to settle my heart from wanting to make, bake, or have new things long enough to thank God for what I do have.

This year I am not doing the whole resolution thing. “It’s a new year, now cheer lead yourself into success with no accountability and a heart that doesn't actually want to change at all”… Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like a recipe for failure. True change in my life has only been evident when it came from somewhere beyond surface level. My pattern is to be distracted and busy. I am prone to leave God and do me. I don’t want the desires to change… I want God to change my desires.

Bind my wandering heart to You, God.
More You, less everything else. //